There’s an often amusing variant of the 419 email scam in which a supposed ‘hitman’ threatens to terminate the recipient unless money is paid. Some of them arouse my twisted sense of humour, so I’ve posted the winning (slightly edited) entries below.
Just in case readers are in any doubt, the best policy is never to respond to these emails unless you’re up for a bit of scam baiting. There really is no hitman, no network of gangsters, and the sender has no knowledge of the recipient beyond an email address. It’s usually a bloke in Nigeria mailing random people.
I am Mr robert brown the only man seer from london living in usa I am a murderer. i have been paid to kill you and your family by one of your friend and the date has come . my colleagues has been in your state right now keeping eye’s on everysteps you make but on my searching about your contact email information i find out that you are a wealthy person, due to the love i have with your family, i decided to inform you about it before going any forward with my boy’s.
Do get back to me as soon as possible if you have anything to say about this ,so that i will give all their informations. i can only give you this email bcos, it is not to expose ok. reply to this email below only
the seer, killer, saver and damager.
How are you.
Am very sorry for you my friend, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don’t comply.As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don’t have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL/ASSASINATE you and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.
Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told me that he want you dead and he provided us with your name ,picture and other necessary information’s we needed about you. So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you,
As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.
Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life, If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.
LOOK HERE YOU BASTARD
ALL AM AFTER IS TO KILL YOU AND I WILL NOT HERITATE TO DO SO IF YOU DONT COMPLY IN YOUR NEXT MAIL, LET ME INFORM YOU THE PERSON WHO PAID ME TO KILL YOU IS ALREADY WAITING TO HEAR YOUR FUNERAL ANOUCEMENT. MY BOYS ARE ALREADY AFTER YOU FOR EVERY SHOPPING CENTER YOU VISIT HAS BEING MONITOR BY MY BOYS.
IF YOU THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE THEN YOUR LIFE WILL BE TAKING BEOFRE THEN, LET ME INFORM YOU ALSO, DID YOU REMEMBER THE GREAT LUCK DOBILL MUSICIAN WHO WAS KILL IN SOUTH AFRICA MY BOYS WAS PAID TO DO THAT JOB SO YOU JUST TOO SMALL FOR THEM TO HANDLE NO MATTER YOUR SECURITY ONE BULLET YOU ARE GONE.
YOU ARE TO PAID THE SUM OF $8,000, WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW.REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY,INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.
I am pleased to inform you that we have been paid to assassinate you by your co-worker. I want you to listen very carefully about your safety and do not, i repeat, do not try in anyway doing anything funny in otherwords, trying to inform any security agent.
We have our network all over the world.In order not to endanger your life the more you are advice to co-operate with us to know if we can change our initial plan to assassinate you.
I wait to hear from you on this matter within the next 24 hours and that is if you appreciate and love your existence. Please do not in anyway communicate this or discuss this with anybody because you wouldn’t know whom you are talking with.
GOD BE WITH YOU,GOOD LUCK!!!